Hi Honey, I miss you and I love you and, yada, yada, yada.

I want to try to make us work, blah, blah, blah.

I would never hurt you. Don�t ever be afraid of me�

I may have thought about making us work before the actual separation. I was desperately trying to make things work. It was eating my insides.

Is revulsion a feeling that a woman should have for her husband?

Is disgust?

Is disrespect something a man should have for his wife?

Is disregard?

He fucked up when things were starting to look up. I was starting to gain some trust in him again. I was thinking, �You know, a little more time and all of these terrible feelings I have will go away.�

Then he messed up. Royal!

Add insult to injury by getting his family involved and acting like a fucking pussy. He suddenly became an abomination in my eyes.

The man would never stand up for me.

The man would never help me when I really needed him.

The man would rather avoid confrontation then to defend me from his family and friends.

I say �the man�. Humph.

Being married to him was like living alone. There really isn�t much of a difference between now and then.

Except now I can truly be my own person. I can truly feel the freedom that I was lacking. I don�t feel obligated to do the things I don�t want to do. Obligated or forced.

I would have to wait a very long time to gain even an ounce of respect for him again. If I�m going to be with someone, it�s going to be with someone who wants to take care of me. Who respects me. Who wants me, for not only my body, but for my mind, for what I have to offer as a person, and not as an accessory.

I will no longer be the trophy wife, who is expected to open her legs whenever he pleases.

I�m not that woman anymore.