Long lost friend.
I did something that I hadn�t done in a very long time. I was sitting at my desk, at work. I was stressed about everything and I was feeling very depressed. I just wanted the ache to go away�just for a while. Not only was work stressful, but I was dealing with some �personal� issues. With out even thinking, I picked up the letter opener, that is placed in a canister, and began to twirl it in my fingers. The silver glinted under the florescent lights. I was hypnotized. �Just once.� I thought to my self. �If I do it just once, I won�t do it ever again.� I then put the point to my wrist, between the tendons and slowly and methodically began to twist it into my skin. I didn�t feel anything at first, just the point going around in circles, so I pushed harder. That�s when a little shock of pain lanced through my arm, I pushed harder. I started to feel a familiar �friend�; it was comforting. That�s when something snapped in my brain, �What are you doing?� What was I doing? I tightened my grip on the letter opener and placed it in a different part of my wrist and continued with the ritual. I was finally feeling a form of relief, and I wasn�t ready to give it up yet. I was calming down, and that�s what I needed. However, that voice kept asking me the same question, �what are you doing?� I finally put the letter opener down and took a deep breath. I stared at my wrist to see what kind of damage I did. Little tiny welts were swelling up, but there was no blood. Perfect. No real evidence of what I had done. Now I can pretend it never happened and continue with my life, hoping that I don�t do it again, or something worse.
Have you read these yet?
The Final Bow - 2004-08-21 Hell's Bride - 2004-08-20 One more day to go. - 2004-08-19 Stalker!!!! *psycho shower scene theme song* - 2004-08-13 Assessment of Doom - 2004-08-11
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Wednesday, Sept. 24, 2003
9:02 p.m.
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