My band entered a Battle of the Bands competition. I was so totally stoked about it until I found out who won the first round. My ex-band, Jamus. I was really liking the idea of not having them around for a while. As far as I could remember, they were going to move to California and become a �real band�, which made me extremely happy. There would be two assholes in the world that I wouldn�t have to deal with. Then I find out they�re still here and in the same competition we�re in. Well when I was in Jamus the band I�m in now kicked our asses, rightfully so I may add. I remembered sitting on a bar stool and getting chills when I heard �What�s it Going to Take� for the first time. I thought to myself, �Why can�t we write music like that?� Jamus is based on commercialism and doing whatever it takes to sell, including losing your dignity. I�m glad I�m done with that. I used to get sick to my stomach every time we played out. I had to �act� like I was having fun, and that really wasn�t easy on me. There was always this feeling that I could never be good enough, that I would never be how they wanted me to be.

Since I�ve been in Co5, I haven�t really thought about being good enough or if I was shaking my ass enough. It became more about the music and less about the theatrics. I have a great time with these people and after a while it shows. So now, as I take a deep breath, I make my self remember why I�m this business to begin with. It�s not for winning competitions and it sure as hell ain�t for the money. It�s about going out and playing, and having fun at the same time. I could care less if we don�t win a single competition or if we do end up going past the preliminaries, facing Jamus. Big fucking deal, la ti da. Just as long as the 5 people I care about most are there (that�s including Benny), everything will make sense. We will have a good time, drink beer and be merry!