a day in the life of the chic

Here's by birdie, watch it fly!

I have a bit of a problem. I have stage fright. Like, major stage fright. The idea of being by myself in front of a bunch of people makes me so nervous, I could puke. Not only that, but I can�t stand it when people stare at me. Like at my guitar lesson last night. I had a few riffs down perfect, but as soon as I tried playing them for Chris, it was all messed up. It sounded as though I hadn�t practiced at all. It was utter humiliation. The practice room is the size of my closet and it was so hot in there. He had this fan blowing but it wasn�t doing any good. I would fumble and scream, and sweat and scream some more. It sounded like an animal dieing. Then he tells me that maybe I should cut my nails shorter. My nails are down to the nub. There is no way I could cut them shorter then that. I think he was trying to make an excuse for my lack of talent. Another thing that is really bothering me is this whole National Anthem thing. Every time I think about it my stomach heaves. It doesn�t help that my stomach feels like a battering ram again. Benny is convinced I swallowed glass or something. Which is ridiculous, but, the way I almost collapse every time I hiccup, I wouldn�t be surprised.

I went to Lane�s and wrote for a while with him last night. We are working on this one song, but I don�t think I like where it�s going. The music is great, but the words aren�t working as well as I want them too. It might end up being a duet, but we�re not sure. I have a bit of writers� block. I can�t seem to get out any words as of late. I�m so drained at work, my brain refuses to work after hours. I think I�m going to spend this weekend working on my literary skills. Read some poetry, sip tea and write about shit I could care less about. Like relationships. Not that I don�t care about relationships, it�s just, that�s what every other song is about. I like her, she likes me, lets get together and �. She fucking hates me�..blah, blah, blah. They are all alike. I would like to get away from that crap and write about stuff I care about. Like politics and how fucked up liberals are, and stuff like that. Unfortunately the only way I could get away with something like that is if I joined a punk band. So now I�m destined to write about stuff that is somehow linked to a relationship. I�ve found a way to retaliate, however. Now I write about bad relationships and how angry people can get in them. That way I can scream out my frustration and still stay in the music �mold�. The last non-relationship song I wrote was rejected, so I will now turn it into some lovely poetry for all (two of you) to read.

Fly Little Bird

Restitution, evolution

People kill for a thrill.

You can cry out

Poke your eyes out

You believe what you will.

Conservatives and Liberals

Burn the House to pass their bills.

Racism, communism

The Anti-Christ

And superstition.

We all live here in this place.