You know, the whole reason I started this diary was so that it would be a link to the band website. It was a novelty, if you may. Then when we changed up the site I kind of �forgot� to remind someone to link it back up. It was nice to have somewhere to vent and no one would give me crap for it.

Then one of the band members would say something like, �hey I was reading your diary, is everything ok?�

Yeah�so if you think my stuff is a bit dry of anything juicy, that�s the reason why. That�s right you mother fuckers! You�re the reason why my diary has been boring lately! lol.

I know that if I were a diary reader I would have stopped reading this bull shit by now.

I will let you on to one thing; my marriage is shit. We seem all smiles in public and we do our best to be a proper couple, but the truth is that we have some major issues that might not be workable. We are going to go to counseling but it will be for our own wounds and not to try to make this work. Some people have addictions, some addictions aren�t things a person would consider an addiction. Sometimes those addictions hurt and traumatize their partner. When someone is hurt and traumatized they lose trust in themselves and in other people. I would like to feel confident again. Not only in myself but also in other peoples� intentions. Typing this down, in this place, makes it a little more real for me.