On a more serious note, about a year ago, I was seriously thinking about leaving the band. I found myself bored with what I was doing and, even though I love my guys, I couldn�t help but feel restricted at times. All I did was sing and I found myself getting more and more frustrated with it. Especially since I only sang a quarter of the time�if not less. I had to make a serious decision and I contemplated on it for almost a month before I made my decision. I decided not to leave but to try to learn something new in order to better myself and maybe contribute a little to the band. So I picked up the guitar and I�ve been beating myself with it since, tying to become good enough to play with the others. I now play a few songs, but I�m not good and I�m becoming frustrated again. Last night was one of those nights. I just wanted to fling by guitar on the wooden stage and kick it around until the wood splintered into millions of pieces and the strings sprang apart and coiled in on themselves. Then I could take those stings and rap them around my throat and pull on them until my neck was severed and�okay I was drunk. I�m just getting to the point where I want to give up. Lane has been super supportive of me but no one really ever has time to work with me and I think I�m just wasting everyone�s time. Fuck it. I�m giving myself until January; if I can�t get it together by then I�m going to have to reconsider some stuff.